please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
