The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
