I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
