i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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