based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
