If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I think your dad took our porno
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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