Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
