My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
