i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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