**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
