So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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