Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
