This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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