just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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