The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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