It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Randomize
