Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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