dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
