You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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