I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
