i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
