So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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