Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
