her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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