He disabled his match.com account in front of me
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
