Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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