its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
