You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
