I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
