A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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