Fine. I'll sleep in my office
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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