what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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