Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
