Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
