Nicole vs. Life
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Is Oprah even human
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
