Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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