Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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