You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
