im drinking this country out of the recession.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
