Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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