I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
