I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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