i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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