bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
