Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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