She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Sext me about skeletons
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
