Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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