it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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