im gay
i know
yea but for you.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
