So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
