Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
